HARD TRUTH

Gary Leon Ridgway, known as the Green River Killer or the Green River Strangler, is an American serial killer who was convicted of murdering forty-eight women between 1982 and 1998 in the northwestern United States. At the time of his arrest in 2001, he was considered the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history based on confirmed murders.

During his court trial, the families of the victims were given the opportunity to speak. One by one, they looked into Ridgway’s face and poured out their grief, anger, and the deep wounds his actions left behind—wounds they would carry for the rest of their lives. But one father chose a different response.

Robert Rule, the father of victim Linda Rule, looked at Ridgway and said: "Mr. Ridgway, there are people here who hate you. I am not one of them. You have made it difficult to live up to what I believe, and that is what God says to do, and that is to forgive. You are forgiven, sir." In that moment, the cold, emotionless face of Gary Ridgway broke. The man who had shown no remorse for years—who had taken the lives of dozens of women began to weep.

Almost everyone has experienced being wronged by someone. It could be a former co-worker, friend, or even family member. However, holding onto those negative feelings can cause significant harm to your health – including your spiritual well-being. “Forgiving a person who has wronged you is never easy, but dwelling on those events & reliving them over and over can fill your mind with negative thoughts & suppressed anger”, says Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Religion, & Spirituality at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. “Yet, when you learn to forgive, you are no longer trapped by past actions of others & can finally feel free.”, he added. Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about us. It’s about healing the heart that was broken, not pretending it was never cracked. But forgiveness isn't always easy. And it doesn't mean saying, "It's okay.", if it wasn't.

It means saying, "I'm not going to let this hurt control me anymore." Even Jesus spoke extensively about forgiveness. One time, while He was dying on the cross, He prayed for people who hurt Him. He said, "Father, forgive them" (Luke 23:34). How could someone show such love in the face of such cruelty? It wasn't weakness – it was strength. A strength rooted in love that refuses to be overcome by evil. The Bible also says: “Forgive, just like God forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13). Even at our worst, God forgave us unconditionally and refuses to hold our past against us. His grace is new every day. In light of this, it only makes sense for us to extend that same grace to others. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. We are called to be discerning. While many people have good intentions, some have hardened their hearts and hurt others without remorse. We can choose to forgive and still walk away from harmful or unhealthy situations.

Nothing about forgiveness feels natural. When we’re hurt, our instinct is to protect, to defend, to retaliate, or at the very least, to retreat into silence. We replay the offense, rehearse what we should’ve said, or quietly let bitterness take root. And yet, in Christian life, forgiveness isn’t optional. It’s central. Essential. Non-negotiable. Why? Because forgiveness is the heart of the gospel. Before we ever thought of asking mercy, God had already extended it. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

That’s radical forgiveness. That’s grace. And that’s the standard we’re called to live by.